someone owes me an orgasm
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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