Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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