I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
