that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
