She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
