erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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