no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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