My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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