Got a toothbrush?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
