I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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