I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
