I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
