It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
