This girl is more easily done than said...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize