all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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