Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
