Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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