If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
