There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
