it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
