WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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