....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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