Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
