So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
