I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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