Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
