did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
