Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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