I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
