everyone is single if you try hard enough
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
