so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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