so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
