Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
