I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
