i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
