Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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