her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
FUCK WHALES
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
