so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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