No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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