During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
