how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
