it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
