we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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