Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
