...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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