So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
