ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
