Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
