she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
