yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
