using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
