We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
