Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
