Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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