Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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