youre lurking in front of me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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