do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
